Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize