So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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