Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
