he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize