My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
