Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
