She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He passed out mid-signature
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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