tell your sister to shave her snatch
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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