So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize