dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
