I'm pants shitting drunk right now
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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