Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize