Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
