i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
