Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
