sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
