HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
