I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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