We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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