Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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