Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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