Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
