ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
