i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
