Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
