i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
