Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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