unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
