Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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