new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
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Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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