No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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