I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
