I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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