The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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