Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
