I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
