scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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