They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize