Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
