my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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