If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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