Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize