Only a mothe r could love this liver
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
