dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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