i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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