I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
