all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
