so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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