I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize