I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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