Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
