You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
