i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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