Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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