TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
