im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
