was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
