Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
