brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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