we're blogging at a bar
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
