The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
