You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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