so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
